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We talked to dozens of people about their experience of grief. Here’s what we learned (and how it’s different from what you might think)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Have you ever felt a sudden pang of sadness? A bird seems to stop and look you in the eye. A photo drops out of a messy drawer from long ago, in the mundanity of a weekend spring clean. Your day is immediately derailed, unsettled. You are pulled into something you thought was past. And yet, in being pulled back, you are grateful, reconnected, and grief-stricken all over again. “You’ll get over it”. “Give it time”. “You need time to move on”. These are common cultural refrains in the face of loss. But what if grief doesn’t play by the rules? What if grief is a different thing altogether? We talked to 95 people about their experiences of grief surrounding the loss of a loved one, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00380261241228412">their stories</a> provided a fundamentally different account of grief to the one often presented to us culturally. <h2>Disordered grief?</h2> Grief is often imagined as a time-bound period in which one processes the pain of loss – that is, adjusts to absence and works toward “moving on”. The bereaved are expected to process their pain within the confines of what society deems “normal”. The <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-the-dsm-and-how-are-mental-disorders-diagnosed-9568">DSM-5 psychiatric manual</a> says if grief drags on too long, in fact, it becomes a pathology (a condition with a medical diagnosis). “Prolonged grief disorder” is the name given to “persistent difficulties associated with bereavement that exceeded expected social, cultural, or religious expectations”. While there can be <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-prolonged-grief-should-be-listed-as-a-mental-disorder-4262">value</a> in clinical diagnostic categories such as this, the danger is they put artificial boundaries around emotions. The pathologisation of grief can be deeply alienating to those experiencing it, for whom the pressure to “move on” can be hurtful and counterproductive. The stories we gathered in our research were raw, complex and often fraught. They did not sit comfortably with commonsense understandings of how grief “should” progress. As bereaved daughter Barbara told us: "Grief is not in the little box, it doesn’t even come close to a little box." <h2>Grief starts early</h2> The tendency is to think of grief as something that happens post death. The person we love dies, we have a funeral, and the grief sets in. Then it slowly subsides with the steady march of time. In fact, grief often begins earlier, often in a clinical consultation where the words “terminal” or “nothing more we can do” are used. Or when a loved one is told “go home and get your life in order”. Grief can begin months or even years before bereavement. As the people we interviewed experienced it, loss was also cumulative. The gradual deterioration of a loved one’s health in the years or months before their death imposed other painful losses: the loss of chosen lifestyles, the loss of longstanding relational rhythms, the loss of shared hopes and anticipated futures. Many participants felt their loved ones – and, indeed, the lives they shared with them – slipping away long before their physical deaths. <h2>Living with the dead</h2> Yet the dead do not simply leave us. They remain with us, in memories, rituals and cultural events. From <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-ancient-cultures-teach-us-about-grief-mourning-and-continuity-of-life-86199">Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos</a> to <a href="https://theconversation.com/japans-obon-festival-how-family-commemoration-and-ancestral-worship-shapes-daily-life-179890">Japan’s Opon</a>, festivals of the dead play a key role in cultures around the world. In that way, remembering the dead remains a critical aspect of living. So too does <a href="https://theconversation.com/theres-not-always-closure-in-the-never-ending-story-of-grief-3096">the ongoing experience of grief</a>. Events of this kind are not merely celebratory. They are critical forms through which life and death, joy and grief, are brought together and integrated. The absence of remembering can hold its own trouble, as our participants’ accounts revealed. As bereaved wife Anna explained: "I just find it really frustrating and I do get quite angry and upset sometimes. I know that life goes on. I’d be talking to girlfriends and stuff like that and it’s like they’ve forgotten that I’ve lost my husband. They haven’t, but nothing really changed in their life. But for me, and my family, it has." Part of the problem, here, is the ambivalent role grief plays in advanced industrialised societies like ours. Many of our participants felt pressure to perform resilience or (in clinical terms) to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1363459317724854">“recover” quickly after loss</a>. But whose interests does a swift recovery serve? An employer’s? Friends who just want to get on with a death-free life? And, even more importantly, mightn’t ongoing connections with the dead enable better living? Might bringing the dead along with us actually make for better deaths and better lives? Many of our participants felt their loved ones remained with them, and experienced their “absent presence” as a source of comfort. Grieving, in this context, involved spending time “with” the dead. Anna described her practice as follows: "I had a diary, so I just write stuff in it about how I’m feeling or something happened and I’ll say to [my deceased husband], it’s all to [my deceased husband], “Do you remember, blah, blah, blah.” I’ll just talk about that memory that I have of that particular time and I find that that helps." <h2>Caring for those who grieve</h2> Grief does not begin at death, but neither do relationships end there. To rush the bereaved through grief – to usher them towards “recovery” and the more comfortable territories of happiness and productivity – is to do them a disservice. And, perhaps more critically, ridding our lives of the dead and grief may, in the end, make for more limited and muted emotional lives.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223848/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, Research Fellow, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, Professor of Sociology & Director, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-talked-to-dozens-of-people-about-their-experience-of-grief-heres-what-we-learned-and-how-its-different-from-what-you-might-think-223848">original article</a>.

Caring

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

Running or yoga can help beat depression, research shows – even if exercise is the last thing you feel like

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-noetel-147460">Michael Noetel</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> At least <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.665019/full">one in ten people</a> have depression at some point in their lives, with some estimates <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749379720301793">closer to one in four</a>. It’s one of the worst things for someone’s wellbeing – worse than <a href="https://www.happinessresearchinstitute.com/_files/ugd/928487_4a99b6e23f014f85b38495b7ab1ac24b.pdf">debt, divorce or diabetes</a>. <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-so-many-australians-taking-antidepressants-221857">One in seven</a> Australians take antidepressants. Psychologists are in <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-cant-solve-australias-mental-health-emergency-if-we-dont-train-enough-psychologists-here-are-5-fixes-190135">high demand</a>. Still, only <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003901">half</a> of people with depression in high-income countries get treatment. Our <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847">new research</a> shows that exercise should be considered alongside therapy and antidepressants. It can be just as impactful in treating depression as therapy, but it matters what type of exercise you do and how you do it. <h2>Walk, run, lift, or dance away depression</h2> We found 218 randomised trials on exercise for depression, with 14,170 participants. We analysed them using a method called a network meta-analysis. This allowed us to see how different types of exercise compared, instead of lumping all types together. We found walking, running, strength training, yoga and mixed aerobic exercise were about as effective as <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-37351">cognitive behaviour therapy</a> – one of the <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2018.00004/full">gold-standard treatments</a> for depression. The effects of dancing were also powerful. However, this came from analysing just five studies, mostly involving young women. Other exercise types had more evidence to back them. Walking, running, strength training, yoga and mixed aerobic exercise seemed more effective than antidepressant medication alone, and were about as effective as exercise alongside antidepressants. But of these exercises, people were most likely to stick with strength training and yoga. <iframe id="cZaWb" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/cZaWb/2/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> Antidepressants certainly help <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/article/S0140-6736(17)32802-7/fulltext">some people</a>. And of course, anyone getting treatment for depression should talk to their doctor <a href="https://australia.cochrane.org/news/new-cochrane-review-explores-latest-evidence-approaches-stopping-long-term-antidepressants">before changing</a> what they are doing. Still, our evidence shows that if you have depression, you should get a psychologist and an exercise plan, whether or not you’re taking antidepressants. <h2>Join a program and go hard (with support)</h2> Before we analysed the data, we thought people with depression might need to “ease into it” with generic advice, <a href="https://www.who.int/initiatives/behealthy/physical-activity">such as</a> “some physical activity is better than doing none.” But we found it was far better to have a clear program that aimed to push you, at least a little. Programs with clear structure worked better, compared with those that gave people lots of freedom. Exercising by yourself might also make it hard to set the bar at the right level, given low self-esteem is a symptom of depression. We also found it didn’t matter how much people exercised, in terms of sessions or minutes a week. It also didn’t really matter how long the exercise program lasted. What mattered was the intensity of the exercise: the higher the intensity, the better the results. <h2>Yes, it’s hard to keep motivated</h2> We should exercise caution in interpreting the findings. Unlike drug trials, participants in exercise trials know which “treatment” they’ve been randomised to receive, so this may skew the results. Many people with depression have physical, psychological or social barriers to participating in formal exercise programs. And getting support to exercise isn’t free. We also still don’t know the best way to stay motivated to exercise, which can be even harder if you have depression. Our study tried to find out whether things like setting exercise goals helped, but we couldn’t get a clear result. Other reviews found it’s important to have a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31923898/">clear action plan</a> (for example, putting exercise in your calendar) and to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19916637/">track your progress</a> (for example, using an app or smartwatch). But predicting which of these interventions work is notoriously difficult. A <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04128-4">2021 mega-study</a> of more than 60,000 gym-goers <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04128-4/figures/1">found</a> experts struggled to predict which strategies might get people into the gym more often. Even making workouts fun didn’t seem to motivate people. However, listening to audiobooks while exercising helped a lot, which no experts predicted. Still, we can be confident that people benefit from personalised support and accountability. The support helps overcome the hurdles they’re sure to hit. The accountability keeps people going even when their brains are telling them to avoid it. So, when starting out, it seems wise to avoid going it alone. Instead: <ul> <li> join a fitness group or yoga studio </li> <li> get a trainer or an exercise physiologist </li> <li> ask a friend or family member to go for a walk with you. </li> </ul> Taking a few steps towards getting that support makes it more likely you’ll keep exercising. <h2>Let’s make this official</h2> Some countries see exercise as a backup plan for treating depression. For example, the American Psychological Association only <a href="https://www.apa.org/depression-guideline/">conditionally recommends</a> exercise as a “complementary and alternative treatment” when “psychotherapy or pharmacotherapy is either ineffective or unacceptable”. Based on our research, this recommendation is withholding a potent treatment from many people who need it. In contrast, The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists <a href="https://www.ranzcp.org/getmedia/a4678cf4-91f5-4746-99d4-03dc7379ae51/mood-disorders-clinical-practice-guideline-2020.pdf">recommends</a> vigorous aerobic activity at least two to three times a week for all people with depression. Given how common depression is, and the number failing to receive care, other countries should follow suit and recommend exercise alongside front-line treatments for depression. I would like to acknowledge my colleagues Taren Sanders, Chris Lonsdale and the rest of the coauthors of the paper on which this article is based. If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223441/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-noetel-147460">Michael Noetel</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/running-or-yoga-can-help-beat-depression-research-shows-even-if-exercise-is-the-last-thing-you-feel-like-223441">original article</a>.

Body

Out of the rabbit hole: new research shows people can change their minds about conspiracy theories

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/matt-williams-666794">Matt Williams</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/massey-university-806">Massey University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/john-kerr-1073102">John Kerr</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-otago-1304">University of Otago</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mathew-marques-14884">Mathew Marques</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> Many people <a href="https://theconversation.com/was-phar-lap-killed-by-gangsters-new-research-shows-which-conspiracies-people-believe-in-and-why-158610">believe at least one</a> conspiracy theory. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing – conspiracies do happen. To take just one example, the CIA really did engage in <a href="https://www.politico.com/story/2019/04/13/cia-mind-control-1266649">illegal experiments</a> in the 1950s to identify drugs and procedures that might produce confessions from captured spies. However, many conspiracy theories are not supported by evidence, yet still attract believers. For example, in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/pops.12746">previous study</a>, we found about 7% of New Zealanders and Australians agreed with the theory that <a href="https://www.earthdata.nasa.gov/learn/sensing-our-planet/on-the-trail-of-contrails">visible trails behind aircraft</a> are “chemtrails” of chemical agents sprayed as part of a secret government program. That’s despite the theory being <a href="https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/11/8/084011">roundly rejected</a> by the scientific community. The fact that conspiracy theories attract believers despite a lack of credible evidence remains a puzzle for researchers in psychology and other academic disciplines. Indeed, there has been a great deal of research on conspiracy theories published in the past few years. We now know more about how many people believe them, as well as the psychological and political factors that <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-25617-0">correlate with that belief</a>. But we know much less about how often people change their minds. Do they do so frequently, or do they to stick tenaciously to their beliefs, regardless of what evidence they come across? <h2>From 9/11 to COVID</h2> We set out to answer this question using a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-51653-z">longitudinal survey</a>. We recruited 498 Australians and New Zealanders (using the <a href="http://prolific.com">Prolific</a> website, which recruits people to take part in paid research). Each month from March to September 2021, we presented our sample group with a survey, including ten conspiracy theories, and asked them how much they agreed with each one. All of these theories related to claims about events that are either ongoing, or occurred this millennium: the September 11 attacks, the rollout of 5G telecommunications technology, and COVID-19, among others. While there were definitely some believers in our sample, most participants disagreed with each of the theories. The most popular theory was that “pharmaceutical companies (‘Big Pharma’) have suppressed a cure for cancer to protect their profits”. Some 18% of the sample group agreed when first asked. The least popular was the theory that “COVID-19 ‘vaccines’ contain microchips to monitor and control people”. Only 2% agreed. <h2>Conspiracy beliefs probably aren’t increasing</h2> Despite contemporary concerns about a “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7320252/">pandemic of misinformation</a>” or “<a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30461-X/fulltext">infodemic</a>”, we found no evidence that individual beliefs in conspiracy theories increased on average over time. This was despite our data collection happening during the tumultuous second year of the COVID-19 pandemic. Lockdowns were still happening occasionally in both <a href="https://www.timeout.com/melbourne/things-to-do/a-timeline-of-covid-19-in-australia-two-years-on">Australia</a> and <a href="https://covid19.govt.nz/about-our-covid-19-response/history-of-the-covid-19-alert-system/">New Zealand</a>, and anti-government sentiment was building. While we only tracked participants for six months, <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0270429">other studies</a> over much longer time frames have also found little evidence that beliefs in conspiracy theories are increasing over time. <hr /> <iframe class="flourish-embed-iframe" style="width: 100%; height: 600px;" title="Interactive or visual content" src="https://flo.uri.sh/visualisation/16665395/embed" width="100%" height="400" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" sandbox="allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation"></iframe> <div style="width: 100%!; margin-top: 4px!important; text-align: right!important;"><a class="flourish-credit" href="https://public.flourish.studio/visualisation/16665395/?utm_source=embed&utm_campaign=visualisation/16665395" target="_top"><img src="https://public.flourish.studio/resources/made_with_flourish.svg" alt="Made with Flourish" /></a></div> <hr /> Finally, we found that beliefs (or non-beliefs) in conspiracy theories were stable – but not completely fixed. For any given theory, the vast majority of participants were “consistent sceptics” – not agreeing with the theory at any point. There were also some “consistent believers” who agreed at every point in the survey they responded to. For most theories, this was the second-largest group. Yet for every conspiracy theory, there was also a small proportion of converts. They disagreed with the theory at the start of the study, but agreed with it by the end. There was also a small proportion of “apostates” who agreed with the theory at the start, but disagreed by the end. Nevertheless, the percentages of converts and apostates tended to balance each other pretty closely, leaving the percentage of believers fairly stable over time. <h2>Inside the ‘rabbit hole’</h2> This relative stability is interesting, because <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2564659">one criticism</a> of conspiracy theories is that they may not be “<a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/criterion-of-falsifiability">falsifiable</a>”: what seems like evidence against a conspiracy theory can just be written off by believers as part of the cover up. Yet people clearly do sometimes decide to reject conspiracy theories they previously believed. Our findings bring into question the popular notion of the “rabbit hole” – that people rapidly develop beliefs in a succession of conspiracy theories, much as Alice tumbles down into Wonderland in Lewis Carroll’s <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/11">famous story</a>. While it’s possible this does happen for a small number of people, our results suggest it isn’t a typical experience. For most, the <a href="https://www.latrobe.edu.au/news/articles/2023/opinion/how-to-talk-to-someone-about-conspiracy-theories">journey into</a> conspiracy theory belief might involve a more gradual slope – a bit like a <a href="https://zslpublications.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1111/j.1469-7998.1985.tb05649.x">real rabbit burrow</a>, from which one can also emerge. <hr /> Mathew Ling (<a href="https://www.neaminational.org.au/">Neami National</a>), Stephen Hill (Massey University) and Edward Clarke (Philipps-Universität Marburg) contributed to the research referred to in this article.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222507/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <hr /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/matt-williams-666794">Matt Williams</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/massey-university-806">Massey University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/john-kerr-1073102">John Kerr</a>, Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-otago-1304">University of Otago</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mathew-marques-14884">Mathew Marques</a>, Senior Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/out-of-the-rabbit-hole-new-research-shows-people-can-change-their-minds-about-conspiracy-theories-222507">original article</a>.

Mind

"Good luck!": Pink stops show as pregnant fan goes into labour

It's not every day that you can say pop icon Pink stopped her show as you were going into labour, but for one Sydney fan this was her reality. The So What singer briefly stopped her show after spotting a pregnant woman getting wheeled out of her concert by a medic on Friday. Wanting to know what all the commotion was about, Pink stopped half way through her performance of Our Song and excitedly tried to find out the baby-to-be's gender, after discovering that the concertgoer was experiencing contractions. "Is it Alicia or Alex being born?" she asked from the stage, referencing her birth name, Alecia Beth Moore. The singer then playfully said that they shouldn't "be looking" anymore and urged the crowd to give the woman some "privacy." <div class="embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important; width: 573px; max-width: 100%;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7333559856185593090&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40miss_chantal%2Fvideo%2F7333559856185593090&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2F22874a6d4d174a149b284ecb5a642be4_1707477473%3Fx-expires%3D1707865200%26x-signature%3DNsu2Nw7zUT%252Bf6ndURt3fjSjaZfg%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> "Wow, Our Song, that was the one that did it. Wouldn't have called that one! I thought it would've been Get The Party Started or 'Never Not Gonna Dance Again," she said, before congratulating the mum-to-be. "That's exciting. I don't even know what to say. But we have to sing now. Good luck! It's gonna be great! You're gonna do great," she said. A clip of the moment was shared on TikTok, with fans hoping that the mum had a safe delivery. "Baby is like nah I wanna see pink I don’t wanna just hear. Hope mama had a safe delivery 💕💕" one wrote. "Yep or maybe bubba is thinking will this make pink my godmother 😂💕" another added. Images: TikTok

Family & Pets

Finding joy at age 100: Talking to centenarians about living their best life at any age

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Aging is seen as a period of loss, and there are unhelpful <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/10-myths-about-aging">myths about older adults</a>. Myths lead to treatable conditions being considered normal parts of aging, including cognitive decline, dementia, depression and loneliness. Some even consider exercise dangerous in older adults. At the same time, mainstream media promotes the message that <a href="https://doi.org/10.4236/jss.2017.58015">being young is central to a person’s value</a>. These ideas lead to ageism and older adults being seen as lesser. After spending time with six female centenarians in assisted living facilities, our research team — which included four nursing researchers and a documentary filmmaker — learned there is plenty still worth living for. Centenarians are a small but growing segment of the population with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/daily-quotidien/220928/dq220928c-eng.pdf?st=LrkfjZE_">13,844 centenarians in Canada</a>, and our findings debunk myths about the experience of aging. We asked the centenarians questions about what brings them joy and how they plan for the future because we wanted to learn how the very elderly plan for and find ways to live their best lives. The results of this study were <a href="https://vimeo.com/showcase/looking-forward-at-100">turned into a 32-minute documentary</a> that captures participants’ long and interesting lives and offers insight into continued meaning experienced by centenarians in their daily lives. Three of the centenarians died shortly after the interviews took place. <h2>Long and interesting lives</h2> The participants were born between the years 1919 and 1922. They were children during the Great Depression and young adults during the Second World War. One of the women helped build bullet casings and worked on the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/technology/Lancaster-airplane">Lancaster bomber</a>. Another woman helped her husband protect the blueprints of the ill-fated <a href="https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/avro-arrow">Avro Arrow aircraft</a> when he brought them home from work. Two women lost their husbands when their children were small and had to go to work to support their families. They all experienced love and adventure. Our team was fascinated by their stories and wanted to further explore what their lives look like today. Betty, 101, saw happiness as a choice. “I don’t know what’s really to complain about. I went through life staying happy,” she said. <h2>Joy and challenges</h2> This study used a research method called <a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/151684840/Braun-Clarke-2006-Using-Thematic-Analysis">thematic analysis</a> to find four themes: Finding Joy, Act your Age, Looking Forward and Putting Challenges into Perspective. The centenarians found joy each day and enjoyed the little things such as activities, visits and treats. Betty enjoyed cheating at solitaire and Jean, 100, played the piano. Clementina, 101, had fun gambling and Joyce, 100, continued to write stories and watch her grandchildren in music concerts. Family was central to their lives and they enjoyed spending time with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Two of the women stated that raising their children was the biggest accomplishment in their lives. The centenarians also found great joy in reminiscing about their interesting lives. However, one of the challenges was that there was no one left alive who had the same shared experiences. <h2>Limitations</h2> The centenarians were constrained by the limitations of society, their bodies and their self-perceptions. “You have to act your age,” said Clementina. She physically described this phenomenon by clasping her hands together in her lap and sitting still. Some participants found life to be boring at 100 compared to their lives as younger adults. They had limited opportunities to do what they would like. “We had homes,” said Joyce, 100, describing how they had known better lives, which made it hard to accept the constraints of their current existence. In spite of these feelings, many of the participants continued to be busy and live life fully despite limitations. Jean, despite needing a wheelchair for mobility, continues to do people’s taxes for a volunteer organization, plays piano for church services and leads choirs within her facility. “I am constantly rebelling against my situation physically,” she said. The other women in this study also continued to challenge norms of what their age and disabilities meant. Joyce writes and submits short stories for publication, and has a poem in the war archives in Ottawa. Assisted living facilities often prioritize resident safety, but this can come at a cost to personal freedom. Some residents only leave their facility accompanied by a facility employee or a family member. Clementina rebelled against this restriction and at the age of 97, snuck out of her assisted living facility in a cab to go to the casino, pretending that she was going to meet her son. All of the participants put their life challenges into perspective. They all had lost spouses, friends and some had lost their children. “I was broken,” Clementina said about losing her husband. Christine, 102, was asked how she managed after losing her husband when her children were still small. “I am still here,” she said. <h2>The future</h2> Most of the centenarians had few plans for themselves for the future and were more interested in leading their day-to-day lives. Betty jokingly described the inevitability of her death and that she was “looking for the bucket.” Most described being prepared to die except for Jean, who laughed and said she didn’t have time to die. “I have too many plans.” The centenarians looked to the future of their families and the larger community and entrusted the next generation to make good choices. Participants in this study had long and interesting lives and continued to find meaning each day. This study supports the idea that older adults continue to lead engaging lives and that we need to support older adults to live their best lives at any age. This article was also co-authored by journalist and filmmaker Kelly-Anne Riess and retired nursing instructor Susan Page.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, Assistant Professor of Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, Instructor, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, Associate Research Scientist, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/finding-joy-at-age-100-talking-to-centenarians-about-living-their-best-life-at-any-age-206852">original article</a>.

Caring

Newly revealed diary entry shows Queen Elizabeth's final moments

A previously unseen diary entry from Queen Elizabeth's private secretary has revealed the final moments of the late monarch's life. Sir Edward Young dutifully recorded every moment of the Queen's life, including Her Majesty's last moments at Balmoral surrounded by her family. “Very peaceful,” he wrote. “In her sleep. Slipped away. Old age. She wouldn’t have been aware of anything. No pain.” The private diary entry was lodged in the Royal Archives and has not been made public until now. Queen Elizabeth passed away at the age of 96 on September 8th 2022 at her beloved Balmoral Castle in Scotland, as she was surrounded by the royal family. Others who were by the Queen’s bedside included the Queen’s senior dresser and trusted confidante, Angela Kelly, along with the Rev Kenneth MacKenzie, a minister, who read to her from the Bible. The diary entry comes from a new book Charles III: New King, New Court. The Inside Story, written by royal expert Robert Hardman, who shared other details from the Queen's final moments. The book notes that after King Charles sat by his mother's bedside for hours before her death, he went out to forage mushrooms to clear his head. It was when he was returning to Balmoral Castle that he was informed his mother has died. After her death, a footman brought a locked red box of paperwork found by her deathbed. In it, were two sealed letters: one to her son and heir, Charles, and the other, addressed to Young. The box also contained her final royal order: her choice of candidates for the prestigious Order of Merit for ‘exceptionally meritorious service’ across the Commonwealth. Hardman writes in the new book, “Even on her deathbed, there had been work to do. And she had done it.” Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

Netflix reveals top TV shows of 2023

Netflix has released its first ever biannual report into how their original shows and performed on the platform. The report titled “What We Watched: A Netflix Engagement Report”, covers over 18,000 titles and nearly 100 billion hours viewed between a six-month period from January and June. Content is included in the report if it's been watched for over 50,000 hours. According to the list the most-watched TV show during the six month period, was Season 1 of The Night Agent, a US show which stars Gabriel Basso and Luciane Buchanan. The show racked up a massive 812.1 million hours of viewership. Comedy-drama Ginny & Georgia took second spot, which was streamed for over 665 million hours. The third most-watched show was the first season of the South Korean thriller The Glory with 622 million hours of viewership. Worldwide hit Wednesday, starring Jenna Ortega ranked fourth, with half a billion hours from January to June, even though it technically had over one billion hours of viewership in the first 19 days since after it was released in November 2022. But since the show premiered late last year, most viewers had already finished the series by the time the Netflix report began. Netflix co – chief executive Ted Sarandos said that the streaming platform is making continuous effort to make viewership information more public, in order to build trust with their audience. “In the earliest days, it really wasn’t really in our interest to be that transparent because we were building a new business and we also needed room to learn but we also didn’t want to provide road maps to future competitors,” Sarandos told reporters, according to Vulture. “The unintended consequence of not having more transparent data about our engagement was it created an atmosphere of mistrust over time with producers and creators and the press about what was happening on Netflix,” Sarados said. “So we’ve been on this continuum of opening things up.” Image: Phil Barker/Future Publishing via Getty Images

5 genius travel hacks no-one talks about

Genius travel influencer Grace Cheng has amassed a large following on Instagram by sharing her luxurious international adventures. But she's not just about the pretty pictures and glamorous destinations; she's also got some practical tips and tricks up her sleeve – one of which makes so much sense you will be a little cross you didn't think of it yourself. In a recent video, Cheng revealed her top five travel hacks that "no one talks about" – and while some of her tips were met with skepticism from readers and viewers, others were completely floored by how simple and effective they were. Tip 1: Freeze water bottles to get them through security Amazing, right? Cheng's first tip is such a game-changer for anyone who's ever had to throw away their water bottle at airport security. She claims you can actually take a full bottle of water through security ... if it's frozen. The logic is that ice is solid and water is liquid, so all you have to do is freeze the water before you leave for the airport. Then, before you hit security, just drink whatever has melted and carry on the rest. Cheng calls this one the "biggest hack ever" – and we're inclined to agree. No more paying for overpriced bottled water at the airport! Tip 2: Use a hair to check for hotel room intruders This one seems a little paranoid, but if you're ever worried about someone entering your hotel room while you're out, Cheng has a clever solution. She suggests taping a hair at the bottom of the door frame. When you come back to your room, you'll see if the hair has been broken or not. If it has, then you know someone has been inside. This is a pretty simple and effective way to check for intruders, and it's definitely worth trying if you're feeling paranoid. Tip 3: Board your economy flight last to get an empty row If you're flying economy, Cheng says you should always board the plane last. This is because it will give you a chance to see which seats are empty. Once you've spotted an empty row, you can politely ask the flight attendant if you can take one of the seats. With a little luck, you'll end up with a whole row to yourself, which is basically like flying business class. Tip 4: Book with the same hotel chain to get upgrades If you're a frequent traveller, Cheng says you should always book with the same hotel chain whenever possible. This is because you'll be more likely to get rewarded with upgrades and better customer service. Hotel chains often have loyalty programs that reward repeat customers. So, if you're always booking with the same hotel chain, you'll eventually start to rack up points that can be redeemed for upgrades, free stays and other perks. Solid tip, Cheng! Tip 5: Always carry a universal power adaptor Cheng says this is one of the most important travel hacks she's ever learned. She used to have to keep buying different adaptors for every country she visited, but now she just carries a universal adaptor with her. This is quite the lifesaver for any traveller who wants to avoid the hassle of finding and buying adaptors in every new country they visit. Overall, Cheng's travel hacks are a mix of clever tips and solid, commonsense advice. But whether you love them or hate them, there's no denying that they're worth checking out. So, next time you're planning a trip, be sure to give Cheng's hacks a try. You might just be surprised at how much they can make your travels easier and more enjoyable! <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by grace | TravelCreator✨ (@graceccheng)</a> </div> </blockquote> Images: Travel Creator @graceccheng / Instagram

Travel Tips

"You've restored my faith": Community shows up for lonely birthday boy

One dad's desperate plea has "restored" his faith after his local community showed up for his son's third birthday party. Pre-schooler William Buck and his dad Steven sat patiently on a beach in Wellington, waiting for his friends to arrive and begin the celebrations for his third birthday party. As time passed, William and his dad grew more hopeless, and they worried about the fate of the celebrations. "He kept asking where everyone was, and we were like 'they’re coming soon'," Steven Buck told <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/parenting/133203054/familys-plea-after-nobody-shows-at-3yearolds-birthday-brings-community-to-beach" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" data-i13n="cpos:2;pos:1" data-ylk="slk:Stuff;cpos:2;pos:1;elm:context_link;itc:0" data-rapid_p="9" data-v9y="1">Stuff</a>. Steven felt "guilty" that none of his son's mates had come to the party, especially given how excited his son had been for this birthday, as he had been talking about the celebration for weeks. In a last ditch effort to make William's day special, Steven turned to social media for help. Steven posted an image of the pair online and invited any locals wanting "some sun and sand" to join them. "William would love some friends to play with. He has Hot Wheels, sand toys, dinos, and we have some snacks and drinks. Any and all welcome," he wrote. Amazingly, locals responded in their thousands, wishing William a 'Happy Birthday' while many others joined the three-year-old and his parents. "Going there. See you soon," one local wrote, before arriving with her family. The partygoers arrived with bubbles and inflatables, parking themselves down on beach chairs ready to celebrate the sunny day with William. "Thank you so much everyone for the birthday wishes and support," Steven wrote online after the day. "Wellington you always restore my faith in humanity!" Image credits: Facebook

Family & Pets

An X-Files expert on the show’s enduring appeal – 30 years on

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bethan-jones-1345648">Bethan Jones</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-york-1344">University of York</a> On September 10 1993 the pilot episode of The X-Files aired. Thirty years later to the day, I was at a <a href="https://www.twincities.com/2023/04/17/moa-30th-anniversary-x-files-convention/">convention centre in Minneapolis</a> with 500 other fans and the show’s creator, Chris Carter, celebrating its legacy. Ostensibly a show about aliens, The X-Files swiftly became part of the cultural lexicon and remains there to this day. In part its success was down to the chemistry of its two leads – David Duchovny, who played FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder and Gillian Anderson, who played FBI Special Agent Dana Scully. After all, it was the X-Files fandom that invented the term <a href="https://www.vox.com/2016/6/7/11858680/fandom-glossary-fanfiction-explained">“shipping”</a> (rooting for characters to get together romantically). But, as I argue in my new book, <a href="https://www.tuckerdspress.com/product-page/the-x-files-the-truth-is-still-out-there">The Truth Is Still Out There: Thirty Years of The X-Files</a>, what really made the series successful was its ability to tap into contemporary cultural moments and ask us to really think about the times we’re living in. When the series began in 1993, the US was still grappling with the effects of <a href="https://www.britannica.com/event/Watergate-Scandal">Watergate</a> and the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/event/Vietnam-War">Vietnam war</a>, but concerns were also rising about the approaching millennium and the economic and cultural divisions within US society. It also coincided with Bill Clinton becoming president – marking the end of more than a decade of Republican leadership. It’s little surprise that fears about immigration, globalisation, national identity and technology emerged and were adopted – and sometimes foreshadowed – by The X-Files’ writers. Several episodes throughout the first nine seasons dealt with artificial technology, for example, and <a href="https://x-files.fandom.com/wiki/Eve">Eve</a>, an episode in season one about clones, came four years before the birth of <a href="https://dolly.roslin.ed.ac.uk/facts/the-life-of-dolly/index.html">Dolly the Sheep</a>. Critical theorist Douglas Kellner <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/432310?casa_token=44PnlIC58_oAAAAA%3AyDF-53m8WsQCfec-VrVjlF8nav_Q2y24s9ldHo7bFPUvAwUrbcieUZoEk7DZe6R3Mma-WcaUNskkC4CR4baLoAHz7EdFEqcAONLgeI4SiU85I-LPIjNk">argued in 1994</a> that The X-Files “generated distrust toward established authority, representing institutions of government and the established order as highly flawed, even complicit in the worst crimes and evil imaginable”. Though I’d argue it was less that the show generated this distrust and more that it leveraged the growing number of reports about the government’s secretive activities to inspire its storylines. As the public became more aware of the government’s role in – and surveillance of – public life, so too The X-Files considered the ways in which technology could be used as a means of control. In the season three episode <a href="https://x-files.fandom.com/wiki/Wetwired">Wetwired</a>, for example, a device attached to a telephone pole emits signals that tap into people’s paranoid delusions and lead them to kill. And in the season six episode, <a href="https://x-files.fandom.com/wiki/S.R._819">SR 819</a>, a character’s circulatory system fails because he has been infected with nanotechnology controlled by a remote device belonging to a shadow government. These themes reflected growing concerns about government agencies using technology to both spy on and influence the public. <h2>The X-Files’ enduring appeal</h2> During my X-Files research, carried out with viewers after a revival was announced in 2015, it became clear that the show has remained part of the cultural lexicon. As one fan explained: “The cultural context of conspiracy theories has changed since the beginning of X-Files. Nowadays, every pseudoscience documentary uses similar soundtrack and narrative.” Of course, the X-Files didn’t invent conspiracy theories, but as one of the show’s writers and producers, Jim Wong, <a href="https://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/how-x-files-brought-conspiracy-theories-into-mainstream-culture">points out</a>, it did “tap into something that was more or less hidden in the beginning when we were doing it”. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-P-07yN806A?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>The trailer for The X-Files revival.</figcaption></figure> The focus on the rise of the alt-right, disinformation and fake news in seasons 10 and 11 seemed like a logical angle from which to approach the changing cultural context the revival came into. Carter and his co-writers dove straight in to what Guardian critic <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2016/feb/09/your-government-lies-why-the-x-files-revival-is-just-right-for-our-climate-of-extreme-scepticism">Mark Lawson calls</a> “a new era of governmental paranoia and public scepticism”, fuelled by the 2008 financial crisis, the fall out of the war on terror and scores of political scandals. Season 10 saw the introduction of a right-wing internet talk show host who argues that 9/11 was a “false flag operation” and that the mainstream liberal media lie to Americans about life, liberty and the right to bear arms. The parallels to conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones and Glenn Beck were obvious. Carter’s incorporation of topics like surveillance, governments’ misuse of power and methods of social control meant that seasons ten and 11 were very much situated in the contemporary moment. This is perhaps most obvious in the season 11 episode, <a href="https://x-files.fandom.com/wiki/The_Lost_Art_of_Forehead_Sweat">The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat</a>, which deals with the disinformation of the Trump era head on. The episode’s protagonist, Dr. They, tells Mulder that “no one can tell the difference anymore between what’s real and what’s fake”. While The X-Files’ search for the truth in the 1990s may have ultimately been a philosophical endeavour, in the 21st century it is a commentary on how emotion and belief can be more influential than objective facts. Watching the show again while researching my book, I was struck by how it was dated predominantly by its lack of technology, rather than the ideas it expresses. In the second season episode <a href="https://x-files.fandom.com/wiki/Ascension">Ascension</a>, Mulder pulls a phone book off a shelf in his search for Scully – now we’d use Google. But in other aspects the show remains as relevant today as it was in the 1990s, encouraging us to think about the big questions relating to faith, authority and truth. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bethan-jones-1345648">Bethan Jones</a>, Research Associate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-york-1344">University of York</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/an-x-files-expert-on-the-shows-enduring-appeal-30-years-on-213610">original article</a>.

Ed Sheeran fans left devastated moments before show

Ed Sheeran has been forced to abruptly cancel his show in Las Vegas, just hours before it was set to begin. The British singer-songwriter, who is coming to the end of his Mathematics World Tour, broke the news to devastated fans on Sunday, saying he was "so sorry" for the last minute cancellation. Sheeran wrote on Instagram, “I can’t believe I’m typing this but there’s been some challenges encountered during the load in of our Vegas show." He continued, “It’s impossible to go forward with the show. I’m so sorry. I know everyone has travelled in for this and I wish I could change it." “The gig will be postponed to Saturday October 28th and all purchased tickets will be valid for that date. I’m so, so sorry x.” Fans were quick to express their disappointment, with many saying they had travelled to attend the show and weren't able to come back for the postponed gig. One fan wrote, “I can’t believe we travelled all the way to Vegas 10 hours to see Ed Sheeran for him to cancel less than an hour before the show." “My poor husband a disabled vet along with so many people standing waiting on 103 degree heat to be turned away!!! I can’t come back in October, and no refund!!” Many demanded an explanation as to how the gig could be cancelled at such short notice, to which Ed took to Instagram again in the hours after the cancellation to shed some light on the issue. According to his statement on Instagram, the show was cancelled over safety concerns when two tall towers, used to hold up the stage and lighting equipment, had become unstable. Despite best efforts to restabilise the structures, the issue then travelled to the safety of the floor, which was set to hold 65,000 concertgoers, and the whole show had to be cancelled. Adding to the explanation, Sheeran wrote, "I really am gutted, this was very much out of my control but I do take full responsibility for everyone that was put out from the cancellation. Of course refunds are available at point of purchase, and there is a rescheduled show October the 28th if people still want to come, I promise it will be special." "We really thought the show was going to happen up until the very last moment but it just couldn’t for safety reasons. Sorry again to everyone affected, and hopefully see you in October x". Image credits: Getty Images

Music

Sitcom star jailed for 30 years

That ‘70s Show star Danny Masterson has been sentenced to 30 years in prison for raping two women who were in the Church of Scientology with him in 2003. Masterson, 47, who was found guilty of raping victims Jen B and N Trout in his Hollywood home in June, received his sentence on Thursday, California time. The actor remained silent in court as he received 15 years for each count, which will be served consecutively. “One way or another you will have to come to terms with your prior actions, and their consequences,” Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Charlaine Olmedoe told Masterson, according to the New York Post. The victims testified that they passed out after Materson gave them drinks, then he proceeded to violently rape them. Prosecutors claimed that Materson raped N Trout so violently that she threw up in her mouth. Prior to the sentencing, N Trout read out her victim statement, where she slammed the actor for his violent actions, but also forgave him and hoped that he would do better in prison. “You relish in hurting women. It is your addiction. It is without question your favourite thing to do,” she said, according to court reporter Meghann Cuniff. “Life is precious and fragile. Find your heart … Learn something. Read books. Listen to the brightness of nothing and get well. I forgive you." Jen B, on the other hand, reiterated the fact that there was no conspiracy to take down Materson or the Church of Scientology. This comes after the defence had previously argued that the sexual acts were consensual, accusing the women of co-ordinating their stories to discredit former Hollywood star. The victims also told the court that Scientology officials told them not to report the crime because Masterson was a high-ranking member of the church, and instead they were put through an ethics program. After an initial deadlock vote, the jury found Masterson guilty of two counts of rape, but could not reach a unanimous verdict on a third count alleging that the former star also assaulted his ex-girlfriend Christina Bixler. However, he was not charged with any counts of drugging as there were no toxicology evidence to back up the women's statement, which will likely play a role in Masterson’s plan to appeal the verdict. The Church of Scientology also released a statement, criticising the notion that they tried to silence the complaints, claiming that the women's testimony were “uniformly false”. “The Church has no policy prohibiting or discouraging members from reporting criminal conduct of anyone — Scientologists or not — to law enforcement,” “Quite the opposite, church policy explicitly demands Scientologists abide by all laws of the land.” Image: Lucy Nicholson - Pool/Getty Images

Legal

"Buddy is the star": Jamie Oliver's son scores his own show

Buddy Oliver is a chip off the old block after landing his own cooking show for the BBC, according to reports. The 12-year-old has already made a name for himself with his YouTube channel Cooking Buddies, where he creates cooking tutorials with his famous dad, the iconic Jamie Oliver, in their family home. With an impressive fanbase of over 133,000 subscribers, Buddy's skills have been recognised and he is now reportedly set to appear on the small screen. "Buddy has taken all of his dad's experience on board and is about to put it into play with his own cookery show," a source told The Sun. The budding cook will reportedly be joined by other kids on the show, who will learn tips from him on how to get started on cooking. "Jamie's fans have long been asking for his son to have his own show for their kids to enjoy," the source added, claiming that Buddy will be the star of the show. "Buddy is the star of the show. Jamie is keen for his son to prove himself to telly audiences, not just live off the family name. "So Buddy's got to showcase his technical skills and presenting ability. But if his YouTube work is anything to go by, it'll be natural for him," the source said. Buddy is the second youngest of Jamie's children with his wife Jools. He has three older sisters Poppy, 21, Daisy Boo, 20, and Petal, 14, and a younger brother seven-year-old River Rocket. Image: YouTube

Food & Wine

Harrowing footage shows passengers clinging for life in falling cable car

Harrowing new footage has shown the moment 12 people were forced to hold on for dear life inside a falling cable car in Pakistan. The video footage, captured by a <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-66597447" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BBC News</a> drone, shows the terrified passengers - six children and six adults - clinging on to parts of the cable car as they dangled stranded for 12 hours. The group were travelling to a school in the cable car when a cable broke halfway through their journey high above the remote Allai valley in Pakistan’s Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province. They were more than 300 metres in the air when they became stranded. A daring rescue operation took more than 12 hours to complete, with the use of a military helicopter and several zip wire experts. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwS_rAiMksY/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwS_rAiMksY/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by BBC News (@bbcnews)</a> </div> </blockquote> The children were rescued first, with the adults the last to be plucked free. Some of the passengers told AFP that several times they lost hope in ever being rescued, and had considered leaping from the chairlift. “Some of the children were so frustrated and were considering to jump down, but the elder passengers gave us confidence,” 15-year-old Rizwan Ullah told AFP. “When the cable car was twisting, we were terrified and we started reciting the Koran and gave confidence to each other not to jump down.” Gul Faraz, a 25-year-old shopkeeper who was in the cable car, said they had started to lose hope that they would be rescued. “During the whole process we thought we would die. There were some times when we thought we would not survive,” he said. On Twitter, now known as X, Caretaker Prime Minister Anwaar-ul-Haq Kak said he was “relieved” after the safe rescue. “Great team work by the military, rescue departments, district administration as well as the local people.” The owner of the cable car company in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province was later arrested by police on multiple charges including negligence and endangering valuable lives. Image credits: BBC News

Travel Trouble

Try these tricks the next time small talk becomes unbearable

Real talk Bonnie Todd runs 250 food tours a year – a job that puts her in contact with hundreds of new people every week. Food-lovers come to her for an introduction to local tastes and flavours. And a large part of what keeps her guests satisfied, and willing to recommend her business to others, is the personal connection she makes with them. “I try to get past the small talk and general recommendations pretty quickly,” says the 42-year-old. “It’s all about finding common ground within the group, and trying to make it a unique experience. So I’m always asking questions. And when I find that spark of commonality, I dig into it.” The practice is key to Todd’s approach because, unlike many tours, hers require people to sit together sharing food and drinks. When groups don’t gel, or never get past the “Where are you from?” stage, what should be a stimulating experience can turn into an awkward and draining couple of hours. We’ve all been there: trapped in a superficial exchange that bounces aimlessly from one meaningless topic to the next. It can make you never want to step foot into another party again. But don’t despair: there are some tactics that can help you turn boring small talk into an energising conversation. Put yourself out there Improv performer Natalie Metcalfe’s job is to keep a scene going – to create an exchange that’s compelling for both the people involved and for a live audience. “In improv, it’s all about offers,” she says, referring to the act of bringing new information into the dialogue. Through these back-and-forths, the relationship between the characters is established and that kicks things off. “It’s the same thing in a regular conversation. You’re constantly making offers to see if you and the person you’re talking to can connect.” An offer in real life can be as simple as complimenting someone on what they’re wearing, and asking them about it. You can try sharing something you recently learned, or an interest you’ve just developed, creating an opening for the other person to ask you a question. Or, you can describe a relatable problem you’re having – a noisy neighbour, a plant that’s not thriving, a question of etiquette – as a prompt for advice, or some cooperative troubleshooting. One of Todd’s go-to approaches is to share a personal story of her own that relates to the other person’s experience. “If I find out someone has been to a place I’ve travelled, I’ll tell them an anecdote about what I did there, and ask them to share their own story.” Of course, putting yourself out there can sometimes feel scary, even when you’re not on stage. But Misha Glouberman, who runs a course called How to Talk to People About Things, says taking that leap pays off. “A lot of the time in conversations, there’s something we’re interested in, but there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to take the risk of revealing it because we think it might be boring or inappropriate.” But the result of following those internal cues of fascination has the opposite effect, he says. “People like learning about other people’s interests. So be more open about yours, and a little more curious about theirs as well.” Be inquisitive and listen Radio interviewer Terry Gross once said, that the only icebreaker you’ll ever need is, “Tell me about yourself.” Instead of asking a pointed question like “What do you do?”, this type of open question gives someone a chance to offer up a topic they might be more excited to discuss. “Talking about yourself is really pleasurable. It activates the exact same hormone in your brain as sex,” says Celeste Headlee, the author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter. “Another tip you can take from neuroscience is that if you start a conversation by allowing someone to feel good about themselves, then they’ll be more open to new ideas and new thoughts for the rest of the conversation.” Of course, upping your curiosity quotient needs to be paired with actually paying attention to the answer. “Listening is hard for homo sapiens. It’s not something our species does easily,” says Headlee. Indeed, people often start crafting their response before the person they’re talking to has finished speaking. Or they’ll get distracted, thinking about an email they forgot to answer. Since a great conversation is by definition a two-way street, these habits have the effect of ending one before it can even begin. Intentional listening, on the other hand, is a key to an empathetic, engaging dialogue. Use disagreement wisely According to Headlee, one of the other things that gets in the way of a meaningful conversation is the all-too-human need to be right. “A really common mistake is the ‘well, actually’ response,” she says, referring to that deflating moment when a person lets their need to correct you about a small detail you’ve just mentioned get in the way of continuing a story. “Google has made this worse,” she adds. “You’ll say, I went to the hotel with the largest patio in the entire world, and while you’re still talking, the person is already on their phone looking to see if that’s actually true.” But while trivial arguments can be an obstacle to a good conversation, Glouberman points out that differences of opinion can also help propel a chat into richer territory. “We assume that the world is just as we see it, that we see it directly,” he says. “But of course all of psychology and neuroscience tells us that’s not the case.” A respectful disagreement, if the other party is open to it, is a great opportunity to enrich your view of the world by understanding someone else’s. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/uncategorized/try-these-tricks-the-next-time-small-talk-becomes-unbearable" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Relationships

Bruce Springsteen cancels shows after being "taken ill"

Bruce Springsteen's upcoming performances have been unexpectedly put on hold due to his falling ill, leading to the postponement of his scheduled shows. A sudden announcement, posted on the singer's official X account, has informed fans that the show dates will be rescheduled. "Due to Bruce Springsteen having been taken ill, his concerts with The E Street Band at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia on August 16 and 18 have been postponed. We are working on rescheduling the dates so please hold on to your tickets as they will be valid for the rescheduled shows." This announcement emerged mere hours before the debut show, just as eager fans were anticipating a memorable experience with Springsteen and his band. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> Due to Bruce Springsteen having been taken ill, his concerts with The E Street Band at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia on August 16 and 18 have been postponed. We are working on rescheduling the dates so please hold on to your tickets as they will be valid for the rescheduled… — Bruce Springsteen (@springsteen) <a href="https://twitter.com/springsteen/status/1691872953414115424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 16, 2023</a></blockquote> This occurrence isn't the first instance where the music icon had to modify a show at the 11th hour due to health issues. Earlier this year, Springsteen communicated the postponement of his March 9 event at the Nationwide Arena in Ohio, attributing it to "illness." No explicit details about his health condition were disclosed in that instance either, but fans were encouraged to retain their original tickets for the rescheduled shows. Following the Ohio cancellation, two more postponements were subsequently declared. The performance originally slated for March 12 at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Connecticut has been rescheduled to September, while the March 14 show at the MVP Arena in Albany, upstate New York, was similarly postponed. Both changes were tied to unspecified health concerns. During this period, Steven Van Zandt, a member of the E Street Band, assuaged fans' concerns. He reassured them via Twitter, stating: "No need to be anxious or afraid. Nothing serious. Just a temporary situation. We will all be back in full force very soon." The band embarked on their tour in February, commencing in Tampa and traversing the United States before crossing the Atlantic to Europe in April. Returning to the United States in August, Springsteen and his crew intended to entertain audiences for several more months before culminating the extensive tour on December 10 in San Francisco. With a career spanning over 50 years, the seasoned singer-songwriter shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Caring

Ken’s rights? Our research shows Barbie is surprisingly accurate on how ‘men’s rights activists’ are radicalised

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lucy-nicholas-145660">Lucy Nicholas</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> In the Barbie movie, we open with a picture of a perfect Barbieland where (almost) everyone is happy, diversity and sisterhood are embraced, and Barbies hold all positions of power. The Kens however, reflecting the popularity of the dolls in the real world, play a mainly decorative role. Spoilers for Barbie follow. In the film, we see a disgruntled Ken (played hilariously by Ryan Gosling) follow “Stereotypical” Barbie (Margot Robbie) to the real world where she has to find her human owner. This is all to fix an error that is allowing the real world to seep into Barbie land, with symptoms such as Barbie having an existential crisis. In the real world, Ken discovers the concept of the patriarchy. This sees him take a journey that is clearly influenced by, and pokes fun at, many aspects of contemporary anti-feminist men’s rights culture. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pBk4NYhWNMM?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Barbieland and the matriarchy</h2> It has been proposed that <a href="https://theconversation.com/in-greta-gerwigs-barbie-land-the-matriarchy-can-be-just-as-bad-as-the-patriarchy-209317">Barbieland is a matriarchy</a>, but I would argue that their attitude to Kens is instead indifference. Ken was aggrieved that Barbie didn’t notice him and reciprocate his affections. This is not dissimilar to the grievances of some real-life men under contemporary feminism. Why don’t women’s lives revolve around them? And what can they do to address this perceived injustice? The movie cleverly parallels the emotions, narratives and logics that lead men to extreme antifeminist and misogynistic thinking, and in doing so exposes the flimsiness of their foundations. Having undertaken <a href="https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2020-12/apo-nid307612.pdf">research</a> on online antifeminist discourses, Ken’s journey from aggrievement to masculine “enlightenment” parallels themes we found in Men’s Rights Activist spaces. Radicalisation into this world is often motivated by a feeling among boys and men of being left behind by a feminist world or system that doesn’t value them. This then leads them to long for an imagined natural order of patriarchy where women are back in their place and men regain their entitlements. These logics underpin <a href="https://theconversation.com/yes-the-incel-community-has-a-sexism-problem-but-we-can-do-something-about-it-207206">incel</a> culture, a movement that is increasingly understood as a terror threat, and has been associated with various acts of terror, such as the 2022 Aotearoa New Zealand <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/closest-to-an-incel-attack-nz-has-had-experts-concern-after-attempted-murder-of-auckland-schoolgirls/HYPEVZ6F4BFT3CV2O4SXS5FR7U/">Epsom crash case</a>. <h2>The manosphere and MRAS</h2> The “<a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-68360-7_2">manosphere</a>” can be understood as a loose coalition of antifeminist online subcultures. This includes MRAs (<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X15574338">Men’s Rights Activists</a>) who claim reverse discrimination and that feminism has gone too far, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X18816118">Redpillers</a> who claim to have swallowed the “red pill” to see the truth about feminism’s dominance. PUAs (<a href="https://repository.upenn.edu/entities/publication/d8971ded-1ec3-4939-8c0a-ab248dad62ba">Pick up Artists</a>) teach men how to manipulate the women they feel they are entitled to, to give them sex; and MGTOWs (<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1369118X.2020.1751867">Men Going Their Own Way</a>), who are antifeminist separatists (from women). Some of the most well known members of the manosphere are incels (involuntary celibates) a misogynistic community of self identified “beta-males” who want an end to women’s rights which prevent them from getting sex. <h2>Ken’s grievances</h2> Like many MRAs, Ken struggles with a sense of entitlement romantically (rather than sexually in genital-free Barbieland), and in attitudes to power and respect. Ken was being “<a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend%20zone">friend-zoned</a>” by Barbie, who despite being “boyfriend and girlfriend” wouldn’t let him stay over at the Dream House, because “every night is girl’s night”. This is coupled with a feeling of not being special, as Ken is essentially interchangeable with any other Ken. He is also “alpha’d” by other Kens: in the language of the manosphere, Barbie is a <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-27/incels-inside-their-terrifying-online-world/9700932">“Stacy” and the other Ken is an alpha “Chad”</a> preventing him from getting what he wants. In <a href="https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2020-12/apo-nid307612.pdf">our data</a> we found women are often described as “overlords”, man-haters, misandrists and “feminazis”. Among other concerns, men perceive economic loss due to women’s participation in the workplace, and crucially a lack of men’s sexual access to women brought about by the gains of feminism such as the awareness raised around consent by the #metoo movement. These men all share a starting point of grievance at women and their perceived indifference towards them. When Ken goes to the real world, he discovers patriarchy and he LOVES it. He has been “redpilled”. Patriarchy explains his aggrievement, and affirms his feelings. He takes patriarchy back to Barbieland and transforms it to Kendom, where the men change it to a society oriented around men and their power (and horses…). <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y1IgAEejvqM?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Redpilled ken</h2> This redpilled Ken is a hilarious parody of the “neomasculinity” of the pick up artist (PUA) movement, that seeks to restore a masculine-centred world. Neomasculinity is about a belief in biological difference, traditional masculinity and heteronormative gender roles. The amusing depiction of the Kens trying to perform traditional <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/hypermasculinity">hypermasculinity</a> and needing their egos stroked – such as in a hilarious scene where the Kens are serenading the Barbies on the beach with an acoustic rendition of Matchbox Twenty’s <a href="https://youtu.be/HAkHqYlqops">Push</a> (“I wanna push you around … I wanna take you for granted”) – brilliantly shows the extent to which toxic masculinity is learned. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HAkHqYlqops?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Additionally, the competition among the Kens (that the Barbies ultimately stoke to overturn the Kentriarchy) is the perfect illustration of the damage toxic models of masculinity does to men. As Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell has long argued, almost no men can live up to <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/27640853">masculine ideals</a>, resulting in negative outcomes not just for women but also for men themselves. <h2>Finding the real Ken</h2> The movie ends with Barbie, her human (America Ferrera), “Weird Barbie” (Kate McKinnon) and Allan (Michael Cera) deprogramming the brainwashed Barbies and turning the Kens against each other. But what of Just Beach Ken? And what can we learn from this for preventing or managing radicalisation of this feeling of aggrievement in real men or boys? Well, Barbie and Ken reach a middle ground. Barbie encourages Ken to work out who he is outside of his relation to Barbie, and to learn being Just Ken is enough. This isn’t dissimilar to the methods of men’s behaviour change programs and counselling for men who use violence, which use <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10926771.2023.2189043">trauma-informed motivational interviewing</a>, reflect on challenging gender norms and breaking down rigid thought processes, and developing emotional literacy and communication strategies. But it also illustrates that men and boys need alternative narratives to make sense of themselves in the world, and alternative communities for affirmation, before it gets to this stage. In <a href="https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2020-12/apo-nid307612.pdf">our report</a>, we recommended: "Providing alternative narratives and considering how far-right [or MRA] groups provide men with emotional support networks, with a view to providing better alternatives." Feminism has consistently been about separating attributes from their gendered associations, breaking down the Barbie/Ken binary. So if there is one thing we can take away from the Barbie movie, it is that hierarchy and rigid gender benefits nobody, and power and social roles have nothing to do with the genitals you are born with.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210273/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lucy-nicholas-145660">Lucy Nicholas</a>, Associate professor Sexualities and Genders / Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> Image credits: Warner Bros. This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/kens-rights-our-research-shows-barbie-is-surprisingly-accurate-on-how-mens-rights-activists-are-radicalised-210273">original article</a>.

Caring

Extreme weather events are exactly the time to talk about climate change – here’s why

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Record-breaking heatwaves are <a href="https://public.wmo.int/en/media/news/simultaneous-heatwaves-hit-northern-hemisphere-summer-of-extremes">sweeping across the northern hemisphere</a>, affecting large parts of southern Europe, the US and China. On July 24, Sicily recorded blistering temperatures <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-66302472">of more than 47.5℃</a> and wildfires are currently <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/25/how-bad-are-wildfires-in-greece-what-caused-them-visual-guide-heatwave">tearing through Greece</a>. The heatwaves come as <a href="https://www.reuters.com/graphics/CANADA-WILDFIRE/HISTORIC/znvnzebmavl/">record numbers of fires continue to burn</a> across Canada. A <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-66289489">study by the World Weather Attribution group</a> found that these heatwaves would have been “virtually impossible” without climate change. In fact, the heatwave that is affecting parts of China was made 50 times more likely by global warming. This is exactly what climate scientists have been warning us about for decades – climate change makes many types of extreme weather event <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/explainer-what-the-new-ipcc-report-says-about-extreme-weather-and-climate-change/">more likely, more intense and longer lasting</a>. As a PhD researcher examining extreme weather events and climate change communication, I have spent the past four years exploring how extreme weather events may affect the way the public feels, thinks and acts on climate change. One area of interest to researchers is how extreme weather events might reduce the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272494422000676">“psychological distance”</a> associated with climate change. While climate change can feel abstract and vague, extreme weather is something people can experience firsthand. But <a href="https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/ab466a/meta">research offers contrasting results</a>. Some studies have found that extreme weather events lead to an <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/full/10.1017/S0022381612000448?casa_token=dTns6Kvds1AAAAAA%3AkQcleVJ95vJUyh5Pg2vxvFEDbzfR1RsuOI131QCMO0wvdtIiLSVEq4EW6fZYwC7Yhraxj-NB9g">increased belief</a> that human-driven climate change is occurring and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-016-1837-4">greater support for climate action</a>. Others <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-021-03176-z">find no effects</a> or suggest that these effects are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0959378017309135?via%3Dihub">only temporary</a>. However, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-32412-y">we often underestimate</a> how much the public already cares about climate change. In Britain, <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1164127/desnz-pat-spring-2023-net-zero-and-climate-change.pdf">just 4% of the public</a> say they are not at all concerned about climate change, while only <a href="https://climatecommunication.yale.edu/about/projects/global-warmings-six-americas/">11% of Americans</a> dismiss the issue. Given that <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/04/18/a-look-at-how-people-around-the-world-view-climate-change/">most people</a> are already concerned about climate change, an important question now is how to shift these existing concerns into action. <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-your-family-and-friends-about-the-new-ipcc-report-five-tips-from-climate-change-communication-research-202306">Talking about climate change</a> is a powerful way of mobilising climate action, and extreme weather events provide helpful climate conversation starters. We can use these moments as opportunities to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20563051231177930">engage our families, friends and communities</a> in discussions about how climate change may relate to these events and <a href="https://drawdown.org/solutions">what we can do about it</a>. So, if you decide to engage people you know in discussions about extreme weather and climate change, here are a few thoughts and guidelines to keep in mind. <h2>1. Listen and share perspectives</h2> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618520300773">Extreme weather events can be traumatic</a> and climate change can evoke a wide range of emotional responses. If the person you are talking to is comfortable discussing the topic, ask them about their experiences and observations. Encourage them to tell stories and affirm the validity of their emotional response – whether they are afraid, angry, hopeful or worried. There is no one right way to feel about climate change, so listen to what they have to say and then share your own perspective too. <h2>2. Talk about planning and preparation</h2> When discussing extreme weather events, some people may link their experiences to climate change, while others focus on various local factors that contribute to extreme weather risks. The risks associated with extreme weather arise from a <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg2/chapter/summary-for-policymakers/">combination</a> of factors. These include the weather itself, which can be influenced by climate change, the level of exposure of people and places to extreme weather and the vulnerability of those to harm. Climate change, for instance, can affect the frequency, intensity and duration of wildfires. But emergency responses, evacuation procedures, firefighting and healthcare systems are crucially important to reduce risks. There are also significant equity and justice implications of extreme weather as different populations are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41885-020-00060-5">affected disproportionally</a>. It’s also important to bear in mind that while climate change affects many extreme weather events, it <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/climate-change-not-the-main-driver-of-madagascar-food-crisis-scientists-find/">does not necessarily affect every instance</a>. Weather systems are complex and there are <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-why-climate-change-isnt-always-to-blame-for-extreme-rainfall-206958">meteorological processes</a> that scientists are still trying to understand. We also need to make sure the roles of local planning and preparation in minimising the impact of these events are not overlooked. <h2>3. Challenge arguments about politicising the weather</h2> In May 2023, Republican governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, dismissed concerns about global warming by claiming that he rejects the <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/desantis-climate-change-fox-news-b2346211.html">“politicisation of the weather”</a>. Ontario premier, Doug Ford, recently <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-climate-change-forest-fires-politics-ford-stiles-1.6869071">made a similar argument</a> about Canada’s wildfires. In conversations, it’s possible that someone might accuse you too of “politicising” the weather. You can (respectfully) push back against this claim. This argument is a <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/global-sustainability/article/discourses-of-climate-delay/7B11B722E3E3454BB6212378E32985A7">discourse of climate delay</a>. Rather than denying the existence of human-driven climate change, climate delay discourses try to shut down climate discussions and cast doubt on the need to act very quickly. These arguments disingenuously assert that acting on climate is too expensive, too late or that someone else should take care of it – and they are <a href="https://theconversation.com/climate-change-multi-country-media-analysis-shows-scepticism-of-the-basic-science-is-dying-out-198303">becoming increasingly common</a>. If we shouldn’t discuss climate change when extreme weather occurs, then when is the right time? If we want to protect lives, we need to talk about – and act upon – the risks associated with extreme weather events and the disasters they can cause. If talking about climate change politicises the weather, so be it. The politics of climate denial and delay affected this summer’s weather, and our current decisions will shape our planet for thousands of years. The science is clear. Act now or face increasingly dire consequences.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210412/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, Doctoral researcher, School of Geography and the Environment, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/extreme-weather-events-are-exactly-the-time-to-talk-about-climate-change-heres-why-210412">original article</a>.

Travel Trouble

Why am I online? Research shows it’s often about managing emotions

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Most of us <a href="https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2022/02/digital-2022-australia-online-like-never-before/">go online</a> multiple times a day. About half of 18–29 year olds surveyed in a 2021 <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/03/26/about-three-in-ten-u-s-adults-say-they-are-almost-constantly-online/">Pew Research Study</a> said they are “almost constantly” connected. How are we to make sense of this significant digital dimension of modern life? Many questions have rightly been asked about its broader consequences for society and the economy. But there remains a simpler question about what motivates people across a range of ages, occupations and cultures to be so absorbed in digital connection. And we can turn this question on ourselves: why am I online? <h2>What are we doing when we go online?</h2> As the American sociologist Erving Goffman <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1975/02/16/archives/frame-analysis.html">pointed out</a>, asking “What is it that’s going on here?” about human behaviour can yield answers framed at different levels. These range from our superficial motives to a deeper understanding of what we are “really” doing. Sometimes we might be content to explain our online behaviour in purely practical terms, like checking traffic routes or paying a bill. Other times we might struggle to articulate our reasons for going or remaining online. Why are we continually looking at our phones or computers, when we could be getting on with physical tasks, or exercising, or meditating, or engaging more fully with the people who are physically around us? <h2>The ever-present need to manage our emotions</h2> As researchers of human-computer interaction, we are exploring answers in terms of the ever-present need to manage our emotions. Psychologists refer to this activity as <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Handbook-of-Emotion-Regulation/James-Gross/9781462520732">emotion regulation</a>. Theories of the nature and function of emotions are complex and contested. However, it is safe to say they are expressions of felt needs and motivations that arise in us through some fusion of physiology and culture. During a typical day, we often feel a need to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271">alter our emotional state</a>. We may wish to feel more serious about a competitive task or more sad at a funeral. Perhaps we would like to be less sad about events of the past, less angry when meeting an errant family member, or more angry about something we know in our heart is wrong. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PQkNb4CLjJ8?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Digital emotion regulation is becoming increasingly common in our everyday lives.</figcaption></figure> One way to understand our frequent immersions into online experience is to see them as acts within a broader scheme of managing such daily emotional demands. Indeed, in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1071581922001732">earlier research</a> we found up to half of all smartphone use may be for the purpose of emotional regulation. <h2>Digital technologies are becoming key tools of emotion regulation</h2> Over the pandemic lockdowns of 2020–21 in Melbourne, Australia, we investigated how digital technologies are becoming <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3491102.3517573">key tools of emotion regulation</a>. We were surprised to find that people readily talked of their technology use in these emotion-managing terms. Occasionally, this involved specially designed apps, for mindfulness and so on. But more often people relied on mundane tools, such as using social media alongside Zoom to combat feelings of boredom or isolation, browsing for “retail therapy”, playing phone games to de-stress, and searching online to alleviate anxiety about world events. To some extent, these uses of digital technology can be seen as re-packaging <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/026999399379285">traditional methods</a> of emotion management, such as listening to music, strengthening social connections, or enjoying the company of adorable animals. Indeed, people in our study used digital technologies to enact familiar strategies, such as immersion in selected situations, seeking distractions, and reappraising what a situation means. However, we also found indications that digital tools are changing the intensity and nature of how we regulate emotions. They provide emotional resources that are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubiquitous_computing">nearly always available</a>, and virtual situations can be accessed, juxtaposed and navigated more deftly than their physical counterparts. Some participants in our study described how they built what we called “emotional toolkits”. These are collections of digital resources ready to be deployed when needed, each for a particular emotional effect. <h2>A new kind of digital emotional intelligence</h2> None of this is to say emotion regulation is automatically and always a good thing. It can be a means of avoiding important and meaningful endeavours and it can itself become dysfunctional. In our study of a small sample of Melburnians, we found that although digital applications appeared to be generally effective in this role, they are volatile and can lead to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/27/social-dilemma-media-facebook-twitter-society">unpredictable emotional outcomes</a>. A search for energising music or reassuring social contact, for example, can produce random or unwanted results. A new kind of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10187756/">digital emotional intelligence</a> might be needed to effectively navigate digital emotional landscapes. <h2>An historic shift in everyday life</h2> Returning to the question: what am I doing online? Emotion regulation may well be the part of the answer. You may be online for valid instrumental reasons. But equally, you are likely to be enacting your own strategies of <a href="https://cis.unimelb.edu.au/hci/projects/digitalemotionregulation">emotion regulation through digital means</a>. It is part of an historic shift playing out in how people negotiate the demands of everyday life. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208483/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, Professor, School of Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-am-i-online-research-shows-its-often-about-managing-emotions-208483">original article</a>.

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